Report on My Interviews

Here are some things I learned from my interviews!

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1)What are the most significant or interesting genres that you learned about from your interviewees? Please identify at least THREE specific genres from your discipline/field of study that your interview subjects discussed writing within. 

From both my interviewees, I discovered they have produced content in a written scientific journal format; in a presentation format and as well as in an educational journal format. 

2)How do these genres differ from one another? Think about things like genre convention, content, purpose, audience, message, and context as you describe these differences.

The differences in say a scientific journal and a scientific education journal are mainly different in terms of genre convention. Whereas a scientific journal is written concisely, and very factual; in an educational journal the content needs to be written in a more narrative structure and things need to be less concise and explained more in detail. 

3)Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what     is challenging and/or difficult about writing within these genres (from a professional's point of view)?

The most challenging thing I discovered about writing within these genres is to be able to vividly explain all the information the authors want to communicate to their audience in as little words as possible. Like Talanquer, one of my interviewees, said,"Space is money".

4)Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is exciting and/or rewarding about writing within these genres (from a professional's point of view)?

Based on the information, the most exciting thing from a professional's point of view is to be able to see the peers in your field responding and engaging to the ideas and themes presented in your work.

5)Where in mass media - popular, academic, and/or social - can examples of this genre be found? If genre examples cannot be found within mass media easily, where can genre examples be found/located?

Some examples can be found from Pubmed, a database full of scientific journals, to Talanquer's own research page full of examples of his own works as examples.

From Academia to Social Media

The following are some insight into one of the authors from the academic journal I found at the U of A...Dr. Alonso.

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1)What is the name of the author (from the academic journal) that you selected and which social media networks were you able to find her/him on?

I selected author Manuel Alonso and I could not really find him on most social media networks. I only found him on LinkedIn.

2)How would you describe the author's social media presence? What kinds of things are they talking about or sharing on social media? Write a brief description of what you learned about them through the listed social media feeds.

Through his LinkedIn profile, Dr. Alonso is sharing basically other chemical topics such as magnetics and genetic news. His social media presence is not really consistent as he doesn't seem to share information on a periodic level.

3)Now return to the piece that this author published in the academic journal (from Blog Posts 6.5 & 6.6). How does their persona on social media differ from their persona in the pages of the academic journal? Be specific and cite details from both the journal and the social media posts you discovered.

Both personas are very similar in terms of how they present their written content to the audience. Both personas are very concise, very complex in vocabulary and yet the social media persona presents its contents in an almost different genre than that from the academic journal.

Academic Discourse & Genre

The following are some insights into the trends and genres of sorts I discovered in the academic journal I rented from the library.

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1)How many different kinds of genres seem to be published in this particular issue of the journal you selected? (Remember, genres are usually identifiable by their form, content, techniques and/or social function.)

There seems to be one dominant genre in this academic journal and that is the genre used for writing scientific documents. The form is clear, short and precise in each content published.

2)If you don't know the 'official' names for these different genres, come up with names for the yourself. Identify at least three different genres within the journal issue and describe the significant formal differences between the three genres

There is the "no images" format: the format which presents content without any visual aid to help the audience understand. Then, there is the "picture me" format where the content is provided with visual depictions of sophisticated terms mentioned in the content. The third is the "math" genre...that is, it is similar as the other genres, only that this one includes tables and graphs explaining mathematical concepts of the content.

3)Now come up with your own definition for each genre (using the name you coined, if you weren't sure what the 'official' name is for the genre). Be sure to explain what you percieve to be the purpose of each genre and how each genre might meet the needs and expectations of a target audience.

"no images": Scientific format used without the usage of any visual or mathematical aid. The purpose of this genre is to present information directly and to audience members who may have advanced knowledge of what they are presenting.

picture me: Scientific format used to present information with visual aid to present sophisticated information to an audience who may need a visual aid to fully understand the complicated scientific terms.

math:  this particular genre includes concise scientific sentences which includes mathematical graphs and tables along with visual aid and written content. This genre will be targeted for an audience that is somewhat skeptic or loves to have all the facts given to them in the content. 

Rhetorical Analysis of Academic Journal

I selected the Journal of Chemical Research for one of the journals to find physically at the U of A. Let me just mention here that libraries here at the U of A are not like Barnes & Nobles where they update their "stocks" every month on everything. Some chem journals I found were really outdated as far back as the '80s and also, the libraries didn't have some of the top chem journals...but boy do they have the latest copy of Variety! (sarcasm intended)

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1)Who are the authors/speakers published in this specific issue of the academic journal you've selected? How many different authors are published here? What do you know - or can you find out - about these people? How are the authors/speakers portrayed in the journal issue? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

The authors of this journal are all basically chemists presenting their work.There are at least twenty five different authors published in this chemistry journal. It is possible to find out about the type of work they are researching from the journals such as the synthesis of diamides to the use of acids in condensed thiazole. The thing about this journal is that it doesn't put the spotlight on the authors per say, it just focuses on the body of work of the author.

2)Who is the intended audience for this particular journal issue? How can you tell? Are there any secondary audiences included here? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

I am guessing the intended audience are other people in the scientific community based on how the journal mentions manners in which you yourself can send your work to be published to the journal. Also, the secondary audience could be college students since there's a page that is a form that you can fill out to have the journal at your institution's library.

3)What is the context surrounding this particular journal issue? How does this affect the content of the journal? (See the bulleted questions on Student's Guide page 180 for specific questions about context). Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

The context is in an academic,scientific environment. This affects the tone and language in which the content is presented. Also, the content is presented in a physical copy, meaning the content needs to be precise and short enough in length to even make it into the journal.

4)What is the overall message of the journal issue? How did you decide this? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

Overall, the message is to present new ideas and chemical information to audience members. I just thought this was the overall message as this is what it somewhat since on a page of the academic journal.

5)What purpose is the journal issue trying to achieve? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

Honestly, this journal is pretty much a collection of the most recent chemical researches. There is not "third person point of view" where the editors comment on the researches. Thus, I think the purpose of this journal is just to give direct research reports on some of the latest chemical discoveries. 

My Major......In Mind

Let's take a look at one of the fields my undecided behind is leaning towards... Chemistry! 

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1.What do students in your program or department learn how to do?

Students in the field of chemistry, according to mymajors.com, is  "A general program that focuses on the scientific study of the composition and behavior of matter, including its micro- and macro-structure, the processes of chemical change, and the theoretical description and laboratory simulation of these phenomena."

2.What do people who get degrees in this field usually go on to do for work?

From a forum that I read on majors in Chemistry, most people tend to go into being lab technicians or assistants. That is, they work for a R&D team where...from what I read, they do most of the work and do not get much paid compared to the leader of the team. Others become professors or work in blood testing.

3.What drew you to this field?

Since I took Chemistry in high school, I have always been interested and found a certain skill for Chemistry. I find it interesting that you can combine things such as compounds or molecules to form something else. The perfect example is say in baking or cooking. Chemistry is involved in those things such as the heat of the oven causing the cake mix to interact and form into a baked cake. 

4.Name three of the leaders/most exciting people involved in this field right now in 2016. Why are they interesting or exciting to you? These could be individual people or specific companies, organizations, businesses or non-profits. Hyperlink us to a homepage professional website for each person, if possible.

Someone truly exciting to mention is UCSB Michelle O'Malley who is doing research on making certain foods into actual fuel you can use for your car. Next, there are some researchers from UTA who are figuring out a way to make Carbon Dioxide and Water into usable fuel.  My last mention for an exciting company as of now is the Johnson & Johnson company. That company produces so many great products from baby hand soap to dang Tylenol! 

5.What are the names of three leading academic/scholarly journals in your field? Where are they published? Give us the names and locations of at least 3. Make the titles of each journal into a working hyperlink to the website for that publication. (NOTE: if your links aren’t included or don’t work or if the page it directs us to is blocked from public view, I will not be able to assign you full credit for this exercise).

1) The Chemical Reviews Journal is published here in the United States.

2) The Journal of Chemical Research, published from the UK to the world. 

3) The Advances in Chemistry is a series of journal publications published here in the USA.

My Interviewees on Social Media

The following are my thoughts on what I found about my two interviewees on social media....also, quick comment, I would  consider LinkedIn to be the least "social" of the social medias (but that's a topic for another blog post I am sure...).

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1. What are the names of each interviewee and which social media networks were you able to find each of them on? 

The names of my interviewees are Vicente Talanquer and Craig Aspinwall. I was able to find Talanquer on Youtube and as for Aspinwall, I managed to find his research group's Facebook page.

2. How would you describe each interviewee's social media presence? What kinds of things are they talking about or sharing on social media? Write a brief description of what you learned about them through the listed social media feeds.

On Youtube, Talanquer's presence is not very omniscient I would say. He only has one video where he is doing a presentation in Chile but it is important to mention the video is not from his Youtube channel as he does not have one. 

As for Dr. Aspinwall, his research group's page seems to be mostly used by the peers of his group and not him personally. He briefly posted things which were mainly messages congratulating his peers on their accomplishments. 

3.Now return to the piece that this author published in the academic journal (from Blog Posts 6.2). How does their persona on social media differ from their persona in the pages of the academic journal? Be specific and cite details from both the journal and the social media posts you discovered.

For Dr.Talanquer, his persona is very similar in the Youtube video to the manner in which he presented himself in his academic journals. He speaks in a very conservative manner in the video as he writes in his academic journal. 

For Aspinwall, he seems to be more informal on social media compared to the tone in which he writes for his research journals. However, I would not find this as anything shocking because honestly on social media, he is in a context where he is speaking to people he know from his research group. He isn't posting information waiting to be peer reviewed so to speak. No, Aspinwall is simply posting messages to his close peers of his research groups and therefore I think this is an unfair comparison of the social media and academic persona of him since the context in which each persona is in is different.

My Interviewees as Professional Writers

1. Give us the name of each interviewee and write a short summary of the kinds of professional publications they've authored (according to their website, CV and/or other easily findable online resources that list their publications). You don't need to include all the bibliographic information for their publications, just the basic facts.

Vicente Talanquer

Dr. Talanquer's professional publications tend to consist of topics based on the students' chemical thought process on different chemical ideas. His publications consist of identifying how students process themselves when in the laboratory and some of his early works are based on chemical theories such as chemical waves, convection, and oscillating reactions.

Craig Aspinwall 

Dr. Aspinwall has co-authored publications which revolve around analytical chemistry. Such publications go into detail on Phospholipid nanoshells to how surface energy affects stable lipid membranes. In his publications are also topics of how Calcium regulated ATP release is related to certain gastrointestinal tumors. 

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  2) Track down a few of their publications online. Be sure to examine at least two different publications by each interviewee (and hyperlink us to the two examples for each). What professional genres has each interviewee written in? Explain how these genres differ from each other, according to conventions, formatting, techniques, content, and anything else that seems relevant to describe.

Publications of Vicente Talanquer here and here.

Publications of Craig Aspinwall  here and here.

Talanquer has written in the genre of Chemical Education and Aspinwall has written in Analytical Chemistry. Chemical education and analytical chemistry have similar conventions in which both are structured around the scientific method. That is, they start with an introduction, hypothesis, testing,etc. The difference in these two genres is the manner in which the content is written.

In analytical chemistry, the content needs to be precise, factual and consistent. Whereas in chemical education, the content needs to be written in a more narrative manner and more terms need to be explained since, unlike in analytical chemistry the reader is expected to understand the author's terms, the author of a chemical education piece must explain the terms they use in their document.

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3)What is the context surrounding the two different pieces published by each of your interviewees? (See the bulleted questions on Student's Guide page 180 for specific questions about context). Cite specific details from the pieces in your answers. 

Vicente Talanquer

The first hyperlinked document seems to be in the context of chemical education. The document is framed around the idea to "building the to map progression in students’ ability to make decisions about the consequences of using and producing chemicals." It is targeted towards those interested in Chemical Education since it is published in the Journal of Chemical Education.

The second document seems to be framed around a similar question of understanding chemistry students' thinking processes. As mentioned in the document, "the central goal of this study was to analyze the complexity of students’ explanations about how and why chemical reactions happen in terms of the types of causal connections students built between expressed concepts and ideas."
It is most likely intended for other educators as it is published in the Royal Society of Chemistry.


Craig Aspinwall

Aspinwall's first document is based on insulin receptors. The purpose of this document seems to be that "the beta cell insulin receptor can mediate positive feedback for insulin secretion." The audience is most likely other researchers in insulin receptors.

The second document is about how a specific type of insulin receptor plays in secretion of insulation.
The document seems to be written for other science researchers interested in the effects of certain receptors to insulation secretion.

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4)What is the overall message of each piece? How did you decide this? Cite specific details from the pieces in your answers.

Vicente Talanquer

The first hyperlinked document seems to be that the manner in which students think chemically is very intuitive. The text says "results revealed that most reasoning was intuitive in conceptual sophistication and relational in argumentative nature, driven by the consequences of using the fuels based on their composition." This indicates the message they are trying to get across.

The second document seems to have the message that the " Linear causal reasoning was the major mode of reasoning applied by our study participants across educational levels".


Craig Aspinwall

Aspinwall's first document seems to imply that its message is "the presence of a positive feedback mechanism for insulin secretion mediated by the insulin receptor provides a potential link between impaired insulin secretion and insulin resistance".

Document two intends to send the message that "autocrineactivated increases in [Ca21]i are due to release of intracellular Ca21 stores, especially the endoplasmic reticulum, mediated by insulin receptor substrate-1 and phosphatidylinositol 3-kinase."

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5) What purpose is each piece trying to achieve? Cite specific details from the pieces in your answers.
Vicente Talanquer

The purpose of both of the documents is to help understand the road map that students use to understand chemical reactions. Mentioned from the first document like "In this study, a research
team comprising teachers and educational researchers collaborated in collecting and analyzing cognitive interviews with students from 8th grade through first-year university general chemistry in an effort to map progression in students’ ability to make decisions about the consequences of using and
producing chemicals and "In this study, a research team comprising teachers and educational researchers collaborated in collecting and analyzing cognitive interviews with students from 8th grade
through first-year university general chemistry in an effort to map progression in students’ ability to make decisions about the consequences of using and producing chemicals."


Craig Aspinwall

Aspinwall's first document is to give a clearer understanding of "the importance of these effects for normal glucose homeostasis" which "has been demonstrated by the glucose intolerance and reduction of first phase glucose-stimulated insulin secretion in mice lacking the b-cell insulin receptor (20) and impaired insulin secretion associated with IRS-1 polymorphisms (21)."

The second journal tries to achieve the goal to inform researchers on the role that "Autocrine activation of insulin secretion is mediated by the increase in [Ca21]i and activation of protein kinase C".

My Interview Subjects

The following are the professionals who were gracious enough to spare some of their time to be interviewed by me. Here is some information on them: Vicente Talanquer and Craig Aspinwall.

1) Vicente Talanquer

Job Title and Organization:

Distinguished Professor at the University of Arizona.

Higher Education:

B.S. 1985, Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México

M.A. 1987, Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México

Ph.D. 1992, Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México


Years professionally active: 24 years (and counting)

Vicente Talanquer. Image courtesy of University of Arizona
Research Home Page here.

Date, time & location of interview:

2:00 p.m. Tuesday February 23rd, 2016 University of Arizona at the Old Chemistry Building



Questions:
1) Describe your position at the University of Arizona.

2) What is the common genre you present your writing in?

3) Who reads it?

4) How is your data recorded?

5) Has your research group or people in your field tried using social media to present content?

6) Do you use other genres to present content?

7) What is the purpose of your journals?

8) What is the most difficult thing about writing a science educational journal?

9) What is going through your mind when producing this content?

10) Has your background education helped you write educational science journals?

2) Craig Aspinwall

Job Title and Organization:
Professor at the University of Arizona.



Higher education:
B.S. 1994, Berry College

Ph.D. 1999, University of Florida

Postdoctoral Fellow 1999, Karolinska Institute

Postdoctoral Fellow, 2000, Ames Laboratory

Years professionally Active: 17 years (and counting)

Craig Aspinwall. Image courtesy of University of Arizona

Date, time & location of interview:

February 23rd, 2016 ; 9:30 a.m. at Old Chemistry Building at the University of Arizona.

Questions:
1)Describe your position at the University of Arizona.

2)How do you present the content you create in your field of Chemistry?

3) How does social media play a role in your field?

4) What other mediums do you present your research in?

5) Who is your audience?Who reads your scientific journals?

6) What programs or tools do you use to create your scientific content?

7) How was writing in chemistry changed since you began to do so?

8)  Where do you recommend I can find information or examples on scientific journals?

9) What advice would you give to incoming grad students who are about to write their first scientific paper as a grad student?

Local Revision: Pronoun Usage.

The following is an analysis of my pronoun usage for project 1

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1. Based on your analysis, how effective is your pronoun usage in Project 1? What does actively examining your pronoun usage tell you about your writing syle?
My pronoun usage is pretty effective. I noticed I did not have that many pronouns in my work which was quite alarming.

2. Are there any instances in your project where you speak to or refer directly to the audience? If so, how effective are these moments at creating a bond or connection between audience and author? If not, why not? Explain why you're choosing to leave your audience out of your writing. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but you should be able to give a sophisticated explanation of your choices.

There are a handful of moments where I speak directly to the audience and I think it gives them comedic relief and a bondage that gets them the information across in a manner that they will remember in their minds for a long time.

My Pronouns

The following is a list of pronouns used for Project 1

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he (Emergency Manager)
their (people of flint)
it (Flint water)
his (Edwards)
his( Edwards)
it (River water)
he (Wurfel)
she (Mona Hanna-Attisha)
their (Michigan Government)
this (water crisis issue)

Local Revision: Passive and Active Voice

 The following is about Passive, active, and active specific verbs.

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Active Specific :
corroding
renegotiating
boiling
consuming
indicating
handpicked
discredited
leaked
investigated
concluded

Active General:
led
declared
take
called
checked
began
take
decided
decided
help
use
using
using
listen

Passive:
take
take
made
using
would use
would rise
had said
had said
would show
has shown

1. Looking at the breakdown of your verb choices here, what do you notice about your current draft? Are the actions in your piece mostly general, vague or non-specific? Are the actions mostly vivid and specific? Are there instances of passive voice? Summarize what you learned by analyzing your verb usage in this way.
I realized my verb usage is not as specific as it could be in some instances like when I would use the word take or use.There are instances of passive voice and the verbs are mostly vague.

2. Based on this analysis, how could your use of verbs be improved overall in the project? Be specific and precise in explaining this.
They could be improved by using more precise verbs to explain an action in the project or synonyms of a repeated verb may also be taken into account when revising the draft.

Local Revision: Variety

The following will discuss about variety in my first Project.

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1. How much variation is there in your sentence structures in the current draft? Can you spot any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns in your writing? Provide a cogent analysis of what the Rules for Writers reading tells you about your sentences.
I think there are a mix of compound sentences as well as sentences that are short and sweet. There are plenty of long sentences I believe in this project.

2. What about paragraph structures, including transitions between different paragraphs (or, for video/audio projects, different sections of the project)?
I think each paragraph felt as if it would end with a cliffhanger towards the next paragraph. The transitional sentences however might have been better included in some paragraphs that don't have them.

3. What about vocabulary? Is there variety and flavor in your use of vocabulary? What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft's approach to vocabulary?
My vocabulary is neither limited nor complex, it is somewhere in the middle. I think that is just enough to not sound repetitive yet not overdose the reader with vocabulary because that can distract them from the point of the content.

Brutally Honest Self-Assessment.

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1. How are you feeling about the project you just submitted for assessment? Give me your raw, unvarnished opinion of your own project overall.
I think my project was lame. I am not satisfied with the final product because of the fairly goofy tone I provided.

2. What are the major weaknesses of the project you submitted? Explain carefully how and why you consider these elements to be weak or under-developed.
I think my project is not as formal as it should be and maybe needed more vocabulary in it. It is entertaining though.

3. What are the major strengths of the project you submitted? Explain carefully how and why you consider these elements to be strong or well-developed.
I think my content clearly shows the beliefs of the stakeholders vividly with quotes and explanation of these quotes.

4. What do you think of how you practiced time management for Project 1? Did you put enough time and effort into the project? Did you procrastinate and wait till the last minute to work on things? Share any major time management triumphs or fails....
I totally failed time management wise...particularly with producing the content during production as I was unsure what the rubric actually wanted of me. I did not know whether to be entertaining or serious throughout the whole project and thus my paper is in limbo.

Local Revision: Tense Usage

The following is the usage of the various tenses of verbs in project 1

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Past
Said
Made
Has

Found

Helped

Investigated
Began

Commented

Pumped

Received
Called
Checked

Leaked

Drunk

Tested

said

Shown

Said

Caused

Returned

Concluded

Advised

Discredited

Announced 

led

Concluded

Heard

Decided

cooked

Stepped

Decided

Fixed

Declared

Declared

Located

Led

Appointed

Risen

Poisoned

Handpicked

Appointed

Sent

Realized

Constructed

Gave

Decided

Began

Began

Decided

Tally: Declared (2), Decided (4), began (3)

Present

Experiencing

Commenting
Using

Boiling

Running

Corroding

Appearing

Receiving
Concluding
Covering
Concluding

Asking

Renegotiating
Listen

Showing

Prevent
Coming

Disappointing

Consuming

Wind

help

Alleviate

Takes

Purchasing

Paying

Getting

Switch

Use

Find

Reporting

Appearing

Using

Shut

Use

Rise

Swallow

Get

Is

Going

Using

Raising

Realize

Trying

Indicating

Claims

Pulling

Tally: using (4), going (3), appearing (2)

Future
Take

Do

Change

Take

Take

Damage

Report

Test

Believe

Deal

Treat

Cause

Take
Tally: take (4) 
1. Which tense is the most prevalent in your draft?
The most prevalent is the past tense.

2. What effect or tone/quality does the current usage of tense have on the reader/viewer/listener?
It gives the reader an idea that what they are reading occurred in the past and the present tense verbs guide them through the events.

3. If you're using more than one tense in the draft (which is not a bad thing at all), do the shifts between different tenses in the piece make sense? How do they flow? Are there any jarring or dischordant shifts in tense?
They flow accordingly to the content being presented. So, if an event is being presented from the past, past tense verbs will most likely appear.

4. If you have not employed any present tense verbs in your piece - why not? Are there any moments of crescendo or dramatic action in the story you're telling that could benefit from being described or told in the present tense? Remember, present tense has an immediacy to it. It puts the audience right into the story as it is unfolding. It's a powerful technique. Could your piece benefit from that technique? How and why?
My piece has moments which involves present tense and takes the audience to that moment of the story accordingly.

My Verbs

Following is a list of all verbs used in Project 1

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Get

Is

Going

Has

Poisoned

Risen

Consuming

Wind

Located

Led

Appointed

help

Alleviate

Handpicked

Sent

Appointed

Takes

Purchasing

Paying

Realized

Getting

Switch

Use

Constructed

Gave

Take

Swallow

Find

Decided

Shut

Began

Use

Began

Rise

Reporting

Using

Appearing

Decided

Treat

Made

Cause

Using

Damage

Began

Commented

Raising

Pumped

Investigated

Found

Helped

Realize

Received

Trying

Change

Checked

Experiencing

Leaked

Indicating

Heard

Decided

Test

Believe

Returned

Report

Tested

Concluded

Advised

Take

Take

Using

Boiling

Claims

Caused

Running

Corroding

Appearing

Discredited

Commenting

Pulling said

Shown

Announced 

led

Concluded

Said

Do

Called

Concluding

Said

Declared

Concluding

Declared

Receiving

Deal

Covering

Asking

Take

Stepped

Decided

Renegotiating

Fixed

Coming

Disappointing

Listen

Showing

Prevent

Drunk

cooked

Most repeated Verbs:   take (5); decided (4) ;shown (2) said (3) ;declared (2) began (3) ;using (3) 

Least repeated Verbs:concluding (2); Get (2); Rise (2); led (2) ;appointed (2); help (2)

Local Revision: Wordiness

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Original Paragraph

Flint, the cold climate city located in Genesee County around 60 miles north of Detroit that was “once a powerhouse of automobile production”, had been devastated by deindustrialization lasting decades(wsnws.org). The deindustrialization of Flint has led the city to a higher rate of poverty and the city to financial trouble, with a $30 million deficit (source). In 2013, Governor of Michigan Rick Snyder appointed emergency manager Darnell Earley to the city of Flint in order to help the city cut back on costs in an effort to alleviate the city off of financial struggles. The emergency manager is an official handpicked from the political vines by Governor Rick Snyder himself who is sent to a city in financial debt. While emergency managers are appointed to a city, the local officials of the city are sucked off of their political powers due to the emergency managers being present… shout out to Public Act 4 of Michigan for providing emergency managers with this power (Michigan Radio). At the time, Flint had already been purchasing its water from the city of Detroit for more than forty years. The price for the water was pretty hefty at around $12 million a year (the atlantic). The emergency manager of Flint realized that if there could be a way to stop buying that expensive Detroit water, the financially troubled city could save some serious cash. So the city of Flint and other regions in Genesee County getting water from Detroit decided to switch its source of water by agreeing in early 2014 to use a pipeline called the Karegnondi Water Authority, or KWA (the atlantic). There was one problem: the KWA pipeline would not be completely constructed from Lake Huron to mid-Michigan until 2016(atlantic?).

      After

Flint, the cold climate city located in Genesee County around 60 miles north of Detroit that was “once a powerhouse of automobile production”, had been devastated by deindustrialization lasting decades(wsnws.org). The deindustrialization of Flint has led the city to financial trouble, with a $30 million deficit (source). In 2013, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder appointed emergency manager Darnell Earley to the city of Flint in order to help the city in an effort to alleviate the city of financial struggles. The emergency manager is an official handpicked from the political vines by Governor Rick Snyder himself who is sent to a city in financial debt. While emergency managers(EM) are appointed to a city, the local officials of the city are powerless as the EM takes the majority of control over local government  (Michigan Radio). At the time, Flint had already been purchasing its water from the city of Detroit for more than forty years. Flint was paying around $12 million a year for their water (the atlantic). Earley realized that if there could be a way to stop buying that expensive Detroit water, Flint could save some serious cash. So the city of Flint and other regions in Genesee County getting water from Detroit decided to switch its source of water by agreeing in early 2014 to use a pipeline called the Karegnondi Water Authority, or KWA (the atlantic). There was one problem: the KWA pipeline would not be completely constructed from Lake Huron to mid-Michigan until 2016(atlantic).

I would say the rewritten material is slightly more formal than the original works and it easier on the eyes since it is shorter.

Peer Review 2

My oh my I could not find another essay outside my class....oh dear. Oh well, nothing shall stop be.....too much as I intend to help others in the fight for peer review, advising and revisionist  justice!

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I reviewed Emily Bond's podcast  here and reviewed Rigoberto Avila's QRG here.

1. What did you learn about your own project (or the project in general) by comparing drafts of the same project in different genres?

Although I could not find an essay draft outside my class, I will say that in terms of presenting content from the two drafts I review, I will say I need to add more of my flavor into my own essay. I need to make it a bit more entertaining and thrilling to read because I did not get bored reviewing the drafts that I did.

2. I want you to plan on doing revision between now and our next class meeting on Tuesday. Tell me the top three issues or problems with your draft in its current form and what you plan on doing over the weekend to address those issues.

My top 3 issues are : I need to be more explicit in who my stakeholders are, add events which occurred around the same time my controversy did and how it could connect to the controversy and adding more to the timeline of events. Over the weekend, I plan on investigating more into my stakeholders and polishing the chronological order of my paper.

3. Tell me the top three strengths of your draft. How/why are these things strengths? How will you build on them to make the rest of the draft as strong?

I think my draft is strong in explaining terms , helping readers visualize situations and the narration of the controversy. These things are strengths I think because it's what sticks out the most to me when I revise my draft and I will build on these to help make the college essay more explicit yet entertaining at the same time.

Peer Review 1

For my Project 1 peer review, I reviewed Ben Macklin's rough draft (rubric can be found here).

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 Ben's rough draft on the topic of Lumosity was interesting. His draft made me think about the lack of vivid description of the stakeholders that my project needs. I think my chronological structure of telling my controversy is on the right track but might need just a few tweaks. 

In Ben's rough draft, I noticed that he sort of lacked some significant events which were occurring around the time of the Lumosity controversy. Also, Ben I don't think was that direct on the impact of the environment on which this controversy occurred (maybe I missed it, or the environment is the digital world having a key in this controversy mainly). 

What I found interesting about Ben's draft was his use of hyperlinks to send you to a piece of evidence of the controversy. That was exciting to come across and also, I am inspired by Ben to vividly add more description into the "why" of the stakeholders in my controversy as he did in his.

Draft of Project 1

Hello peers, I want you to know that this rough draft is my attempt to write the essay based purely on memory of all the sources I have gathered collectively for this paper and is more of a detailed outline if you will. In post-production I will rewrite to accommodate to the sources that I have gathered, thank you.

Rough Draft

Water: one of the basic necessities for human life. Every human life, especially in America, has the right to basic necessities for living. What could possibly get in the way of pure water? Politics. In Flint, Michigan there is a crisis that has been going for more than a year over a natural resource found in every human body. The current water source of the city of Flint, the Flint River, has high levels of lead and other toxins that have poisoned thousands of Flint residents and children. Since back in 2013 suspicion on the safety of the water had risen among concerned residents and experts yet, government officials kept telling the people to "relax" and to continue consuming the falsely promoted safe Flint River water. Now, how did Flint Michigan end up in a state of emergency over a crisis of a natural resource? Let's wind the clocks back about two years.

In early 2013, Governor Rick Snyder's state officials appointed emergency managers to the city of Flint in order to help the city cut back on costs since Flint was in financial debt. What did this mean? It meant cutting back anywhere in the branches of the city government expenses, including their water resource. At the time, Flint would get its water from the city of Detroit through a pipeline (which Detroit got the water from the Great Lake of Heron). The price to pump the water however, was a bit costly for the city of Flint and therefore, emergency manager of Flint Darnell Earley signed into affect in late 2013 the decision for Flint to build its own pipeline to the Lake of Heron that which would finish being constructed until 2016. In the meantime, the city would terminate its contract with Detroit's water system and get their own water from the nearby Flint River.

On April 25th, 2014 the city of Flint, Michigan officially shut off the pipeline connected to Detroit and was now using Flint River water. Over the course of the next months, concerns immediately began to rise from residents of the city. People were reporting rashes, foul stench from the water they were using and the water was reportedly brownish or orange. The Michigan Department of Environmental Quality reported to the Flint residents "to relax" and the water was safe to drink.

For months researchers from Virginia Tech were examining the lead levels in Flint's water and it got to the point where these researchers began to make their results public and donate water filters to the community of Flint. Soon after the rising questioning of the water, one local Flint woman brought the truth to light once and for all: Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha. Hanna-Attisha, a pediatrician of the Hurley Center Hospital near Flint, Michigan; announced her report on the inceasing levels of lead in children's blood before and after the switch to the Flint River water in September 2015. The results indicated an increase of about 6% in lead in the bloodstreams of the youth of Flint. These results caused a Public Health state of emergency claim in Genesse County. 

The immediate release of her information caused state public health officials to disclaim the pediatrician's report....until they double checked their claims and confirmed her numbers to be true. The crisis caught the attention of national news and by December 2015, the city of Flint declared a state of emergency and soon after, Federal government aid came to the rescue,a little too late to reverse the health damages done to the citizens of Flint.

The Time Period

 monikaw1999 "clock" via 08/27/14 pixabay
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The following are some news that occurred around the same time as some significant things in the Flint water crisis like in December 2015 when Flint declared a state of emergency or in April 2014 when Flint switched the water supply.

Local: Troopers stopping Pitbull Attack (December 15, 2015).
Michigan's first December tornado (December 2015)

National: The Powerball (April 25th, 2014).
Los Angeles schools close after email threat (December 2015)

Global: Guinea declared Ebola free of virus (December 2015)
Bombing in Syria (May 2014)

On a local level, in Michigan there has been plenty of local crimes occurring as well as natural disasters occurring around the state from April 2014 on forward. On a national level, many things are occurring with terrorism and the powerball is becoming attention to the media. On a global scale, the nation is dealing with epidemics such as ebola and bombings in the middle east such as Syria which is an absolute tragedy.

The Setting

Unknown "Snowy city"  2013 via pixabay
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The main setting of this entire controversy is set in the city of Flint, Michigan in the United States. Flint is typically very cold throughout the year; it is typically snowing and being a big city, you can hear the sounds of traffic downtown and the silence of the poverty of the neighborhoods in the suburbs. Flint, Michigan has plenty of history, having once been a powerhouse for the industrialization era in the United States. They are associated with the origin of General Motors and the car industry in America. Flint has plenty of abandoned building where companies would be located at, specifically manufacturing companies. There are parts of Flint where you can see worn down homes due to the recession of 2008 driving people out on the street. It is usually grim lit throughout the town since the weather is typically cloudy. You will unlikely feel the ray from the Sun shun down on your skin for more than two hours consecutively since it’s usually blocked out by the clouds in the sky. The plants around the city are sometimes dead due to the weather. There are some marvelous buildings to gaze upon and in some parts of the city you can smell the Flint River and see it run down its stream. People will be walking down the streets of Flint, Michigan wearing warm clothing. Right now though, you will probably see people waiting in line outside shelters or service centers where the National Guard will be handing out packets of water bottles for the people to consume to stay healthy.

Stakeholder #3

1. Can you describe this stakeholder in 200-250 words? If they're an individual, vividly describe how they look, what they wear, how they move. Tell us how they sound, how they talk, what their mannerisms are. Conjure them in our mind's eye, by appealing to at least THREE of our FIVE senses. If the stakeholder is an insitution or group, then describe the institution and how it appears in the world. How do people encounter this group or institution, digitally or physically? Describe their website or headquarters or something else that physically represents the group to the world at large.

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Governor Rick Snyder is a middle aged Caucasian, conservative governor of the state of Michigan. He speaks English with an American accent. He is very rosy pink in complexion like a strawberry flavored candy button and he has fluffy white hair that is combed slightly too perfect. As an elected official, he dresses very professional with a dark, black suit and collar shirt and a very, formal tie. Governor Rick Snyder has a somewhat long face and big ears. '

 His eyes appear to be slightly greenish with a hint of blue with the bags usually associated with any leader who is being put under the spotlight by the media for having some of his people in jeopardy under his watch. Yet, if you were to find him at a local Costco, you would not second guess he is the governor of anything. His voice is somewhat deep, but yet hat a hint of lightness in it. Being a politician, Rick Snyder sits up straight, makes hand gestures that are affirmative and come to light whenever he is making a point on something that he is saying. There is a sense of honesty in his voice. He looks like he would give you a firm handshake.

2. Can you identify THREE specific claims being made by this stakeholder? The claims should be public and about the specific story you're investigating. Provide direct quotes for three different claims or ideas made in public by this stakeholder. Each quote sould be clearly hyperlinked to the original source.

"Government failed you at the federal, state and local level," Snyder said. "We need to make sure this never happens again in any Michigan city."

"To begin, I'd like to address the people of Flint. Your families face a crisis, a crisis you did not create and could not have prevented," Snyder said. "I am sorry and I will fix it."

"It's not about just moving money," he says. "This is a case of a handful of government officials making extremely poor decisions that had massive consequences for people. This raises a cultural question. Most government employees are great people. They work really hard. But there are places where people were following kind of the letter of the federal lead and copper rule far too literally and not in the appropriate fashion that led to this."



3. Can you explain how valid these claims are? Objectively, how much weight do these claims carry?

How credible are they? Be specific. Think about how poorly or successfully the stakeholder cites FACTS, plays on our EMOTIONS, or presents themself as a CREDIBLE actor in the debate.
Most of these claims are spot on. He is clearly being straight forward and claiming full responsibility.

4. Can you explain how these claims are similar and/or different to the other stakeholders? Be clear and precise - does this stakeholder have anything in common with others involved in the debate?

Who do they have the least in common with? Why?
They are similar in the sense that he is admitting that something did go wrong with government on this, but at the same time, he is not addressing who actually caused this and how much he knew about the situation in Flint, even though he was the one that sent emergency managers over to Flint to inevitably cause this water crisis.